Tag Archives: zombie apocalypse


Permalink to Review: The Walking Dead Rocks- and You’re Ugly.

Review: The Walking Dead Rocks- and You’re Ugly.

Season Two Spoilers:

If I had known the world was ending, I would have brought better books. -Dale

You know what I love the most in literature and cinema? Character development. It almost infuriates me when a good concept has none. Remember that guy who directed the 6th Sense? Yeah I won’t even speak his name anymore for what he did to the Last Airbender series… that’s how much I love character development- I think it’s a borderline sin to deprive people of it.

With this being said, sometimes shit gets a little boring when we develop characters. But I didn’t understand all of the bitches and complaints people were launching against the Walking Dead and its “slow” start to the second season.

Apparently the mindless masses just wanted zombies to horde rush and rage on our survivors for seven episodes… give us action and explosions- say, is Michael Bay available to direct? Give me a break… I realize a large part of the fan boys were upset about Darabont’s departure (as was I) but that didn’t mean I was going to go into the second season wanting to hate it.

The complaints I saw from facebook and twitter friends summed up to “oh my god this season is SO slow!” “where are all the zombies?!?!” and “six episodes of looking for a little girl?!”

Yeah… it’s called building drama, decent plot lines and character development. It’s like everyone forgets they should be challenged and watch a good show for once. First off I didn’t get the complaint that there weren’t enough zombies… there were… it was just spread out. They interacted with zombies in every episode- it just wasn’t Atlanta where the undead masses congregate like Westboro Baptist Church, ready to eat you (and your heathen ways).

Too slow? I suppose breaking into a Walker infested school, getting cornered, running, shooting a perfectly cool jolly fat dude to get away is way slow… Carl got shot, Sophia got lost and went all zombie, Daryl found himself (and got shot), Carol was sadsies and doing laundry, Andrea bounced back and forth between total idiot and semi useful armed chick who doesn’t want to be babysat, Shane and Andrea got it on, Dale got jelly of Shane, Lori found out she was pregnant, tried to ghetto abort that shit before Rick found out, Rick found out anyway (by the way Glenn can’t keep a secret to save his ass), realized she had a thing with Shane- who was like “lolz that baby is totes mine,” T-Dog was hanging out- being black and stuff, Hershel was hiding a ton of zombies in his barn, and Glen got laid… like twice! AND made a Portal reference! Fuck… what more did you want? Iron man to blast in and save the day? Actually that would have been cool…

Third- the little girl… yeah… I was a little irritated that no one could find her but then I realized what they were doing. They were building up to something- and since I’m a graphic novel reader and knew what the fuck was in the barn- I figured the writers were up to no good. Drama. You have to build it up. Takes awhile but as you can CLEARLY see, in the end it’s worth it.

I knew the writers wouldn’t make the barn scene go as it did in the comic- first off Hershel has a shit ton more kids and half of his children get bitten in the barn scene (because the zombies aren’t let out- they break out)… not only that but Hershel forces himself to kill them once he realizes they are bitten… not exactly fitted for television but what would be the next best thing? Let’s put this kid they’ve been looking for this WHOLE time in there… that’ll teach our fans not to fucking doubt us. Walking Dead 1 – Negative Nancy Fans 0 » by the way… admit you cried at the end of last night’s episode.

Yes I’m invested in this show because I love zombies, I’ve read the comics and I love anything AMC puts out. I don’t hold it up to shows like Breaking Bad because it’s NOT Breaking Bad. Totally different… unless Shane and Carl start a meth lab out of their new barn… which judging from Shane’s Neo Nazi makeover could very well happen.

Bottom line is this show is fucking amazing. For what it’s worth, it’s well written, I like all the characters because I can complain, talk, discuss about ALL of them. like when John decides to voice Shane… tearing up the trailer “Where the hell are my Fruit Loops?!?! Raaawwrrr!”

Today’s water cooler discussion is about how Rick is getting great at shooting little girls in the face (with a GUN, pervs!), and Shane spent the entire episode pacing around the barn like a deranged lunatic and Lori is still an idiot… I enjoy discussing this show but I need you to come at me with more than “it’s too slow.” Because that’s a stupid statement and you should expand your mind beyond that… Rick battles with morality every day, Shane is on a downward spiral into becoming the darkest character and the rest of them have purpose, story lines, interesting personalities (not all great- but all interesting)… etc. See beyond the zombies, people… this show’s main focus isn’t a zombie apocalypse… it’s about humanity.

I can’t wait for February.


Permalink to Zombie Apocalypse: the Store

Zombie Apocalypse: the Store

 

When there’s no more room in hell… the dead shall walk the earth…

 

If you remember anything about me- remember that I could survive the zombie apocalypse… for a little while at least. I’m a zombie enthusiast. I’m not nuts- I haven’t built a zombie proofed home or stocked up on everything I’d need to survive but it’s nice to know that living in Vegas I have the option.

I was driving towards China Town one sunny after noon and stopped at a light right at Spring Mountain the the 15 I noticed three awesome words: Zombie Apocalypse Store. Surely I would have noticed it before- seeing as how there’s a velociraptor on the roof… see- right here is why I love Vegas. It’s a city full of random. Whole stores of gourmet flavored popcorn? Check. Pho restaurants on every corner? Check. Naked chicks on taxi cabs? Check. Zombie Survival stores with dinosaur on roof? Fucking check!

I was so giddy with excitement I almost held my bachelorette party there… but sadly it had already been planned out.

So what is this? Are they serious? I was almost afraid to approach it… anyone with the balls to open a zombie apocalypse store in Vegas should be approached with caution- because they’re either really serious or really into fads… I needed to know what the hell was going on and why I hadn’t heard about it until I saw it. It’s pretty much all kinds of win… or at least it will be once the kinks are ironed out (hey when they opened Disneyland in 1955 nothing worked).

owner, badass.

Upon entering I noticed one thing… a few kids running around. I wasn’t sure if I should be nervous or stoked at this point. I focused on the people behind the register- who greeted me immediately with smiles.

The owner- Mike- at least I’m pretty sure his name is Mike… if not we’re gonna call him Mike. Mike- please feel free to correct me as I’m have a shitty memory when it comes to names- especially easy names. Anyway… MIKE is a pretty cool dude and he runs the place with his wife and their kids (who have free rein of the place). I’m gonna try and over look your zombie targets in the likeness of Obama there, Mike… because I like your store concept. I dig your Team America shirt.

I mean let’s be honest here… I’ll pretty much be surrounding myself with NRA card members if shit ever hits the fan. It’s the smart thing to do. I don’t want to be surrounded by hippies who don’t know how to use a gun- that would be useless and stupid. I want people like Mike on my side. He seems like a no bullshit kind of guy.

a must have: not infected sign.

The store itself is a functioning supply store… but it carries some serious gear to help ready yourself for the zombie apocalypse. No guns- that much is certain… only knives and blunt weapons (you know, like a T1000). But really… the safest way to go is to have bats and knives and maybe some cross bows- guns can complicate any situation as you well know if you have ever played Left 4 Dead with me… friendly fire doesn’t fucking exist in real life.

Food? They got it… delicious MRI types of meals… if you were in the military like me- you know these rock. Everyone should partake in eating like they are in prison- at least once… and let’s face it- not all of us can hunt squirrels like Daryl Dixon. We will be eating this shit and liking it. One hundred servings per bucket… always wanted to eat out of a bucket.

The knives were amazing- there are all kinds of target practice items, signs, art, zom-bombs… you know what you need Mike? Treadmills… it’s the ultimate in zombie protection… just surround your house with treadmills. Let’s not get technical about where you’re gonna get the power to run them- obviously there would be some science involved.

By the way… the website is horrible (but you can still order items off of it!)…  www.zombieapocalypsestore.com

I’m a douche bag critic because I’m a web designer- but hey… don’t apologize for your website… just get a better website… by contacting me, Mike. I’ll fucking do this shit for somewhat close to free because you’ve made my Graceland a reality. I’m just throwing that out there. I mean- if you can take my sarcasm and middle of the road political views, we’d be best friends. By the way I’m a fucking awesome web designer. Just saying. And I’m sorry to your other web person for totally shitting on their rift. I don’t have an online filter… I’m really respectful in person though, so it works out. By the way you need a Twitter account.

Have a fun look at the rest of the store!

If you find yourself in my lovely- albeit sin infested town… stop on by the store… it’s off the I-15 and Spring Mountain (get off the highway and drive AWAY from the strip two lights… there’s a fucking dinosaur on the roof… you’re an idiot if you miss it.) For a more in depth look at the entire store there’s a cool video over at Almost Nerdy… so check it out!

 

Like Us? The follow us, damn it!

Look at these awesome people