I know. I’ve been woefully absent. I proffer my most abject apologies.
I work at a tax firm, you see, and this is the time of year where things are a little cuckoo-bananas. OK, sorry, that’s an understatement. If my regular life is cuckoo-bananas, this time of year is INSANE BANANA-CRACKERS.
Once things go back to normal, I promise: more regular posting. And maybe even we’ll get back to the Office/Revenge recaps, although Revenge seems to randomly have gone AWOL. I don’t know what the hell happened there. I miss Nolan like craziness.
But today, because I’m really needing it (and maybe you are too, I don’t know your lives, and maybe I don’t want to, they might be scary) let’s talk about something happy for a bit. For cheery purposes. To make things a little brighter.
I had to work yesterday. It was bad. I’m not going to sugar-coat it. It was REALLY bad. Without saying something that could get me fired if one of the more internet-savvy of my coworkers decided to look into my extracurriculars, a certain coworker almost got punched in the nose by yours truly. (SIDE NOTE: did you ever notice that if someone annoys you, I mean REALLY annoys you, EVERYTHING they does annoys you? This person – oh, let’s call him Buddy – is SO ANNOYING that even the pronunciation of certain WORDS annoys me. “Priority.” He says that one a lot. “This is a priority. Is that a priority? Because what I have here, this one’s a priority.” Only he says it like “pri-urr-dy.” IT MAKES ME STABBILICIOUS. Also? April 17th is the deadline for all the taxes. EVERY DAMN THING ON MY DESK IS A STINKING PRI-URR-DY, BUDDY.)
Anyway, so I was not in the best of moods when I was driving home. Even though I have the entire day off today, and that SHOULD have put me in a good mood, just the IDEA of a whole day off. But Buddy and his stinking pri-urr-dies made me crabby.
Then a totally happy song I hadn’t heard in years came on the radio and I squealed like a child seeing Mickey Mouse at Disney for the first time and it went a long way toward fixing things.
So I was thinking: there are certain songs that, no matter when they come on the radio, no matter what kind of mood I’m in, I will immediate cheer up. Songs that transport me back to a happier time, that are so cheery and so fun and so boppy that I can’t help but grin and sing along. And I thought, hey, the internet might want some cheer. Let’s share some of those with the internet. Because I love you, internet. I truly do. Now, it bears note that I usually opt for sad, moody songs. Like, currently, my two songs that I am obsessed with and can’t stop listening to are The Civil Wars’ “Poison and Wine” and Gotye and Kimbra’s “Somebody That I Used to Know.” And yes, those make me happy, too. But melancholy. I’m talking about the kind of songs that make you unabashedly happy. Like, bopping around in your car, singing to the top of your lungs, grinning like a moron happy.
So, without further ado:
FIVE SONGS THAT IMMEDIATE TURN MY STABBINESS INTO CHEERFULNESS (BARRING THAT, AT LEAST A LITTLE LESS STABBY – SOMETIMES, THAT’S BETTER THAN NOTHING)
If I Had $1,000,000 – Barenaked Ladies
I grew up right on the Canadian border. Our radio stations were all out of Canada. I remember the first time this came on the radio. I laughed SO HARD. It was catchy and it was fun and it was just so damn ADORABLE. You could just not get into this song. You could hear the smiles on the face of the band as they sang it. Even my DAD loved this song. And he knew how much I loved it. He used to tell me if he had a million dollars, he would buy me a green dress, but not a real green dress. That’s cruel. This was the song on the radio yesterday. It cheered me immensely.
(I know this video is le suck, but there’s no real music video, and the live versions had weird improved lyrics. I wanted you to all hear the version I grew up with. “Dijon ketchup! Mmmm.”)
Ob La Di, Ob La Da – The Beatles
Oh, like you haven’t heard this a million times. But come on, can you listen to this grumpy? No. No, you cannot. There are a lot of Beatles songs that make me grin, though. This was a tough call. I went with this one because of the laughing, and the clapping. But I also love “Baby, You’re a Rich Man” and “Rocky Raccoon” and “When I’m 64″ (although that one makes me a little sad) and “Yellow Submarine.” But this one just makes me smile. They sound so happy and like they’re having so much fun, don’t they? Also, I like the “life goes on” line. Because it does. It totally does. And we all need to be reminded of that sometimes, don’t we?
A Boy Named Sue – Johnny Cash
I hear this come on the radio and I honestly clap. I know! I clap! Like a goon! Here’s something funny that will make you shake your head: the first time I heard this song was about ten years ago. I KNOW WHAT THE HELL. I was driving across the country, moving here to where I live now, and I listened to a LOT of music on that trip. And one of the CDs I’d gotten from the used CD store was a best-of Johnny Cash CD. And this was on there. I’d never heard it before. I know, I don’t know how that’s possible, either. My parents liked Johnny Cash a lot, growing up. I’m thinking because it has a cuss in it, they didn’t let me listen to this particular song? Anyway, I laughed SO HARD. I played it OVER AND OVER. Then I found out later it was written by Shel Silverstein, who was one of my childhood gods, and that made a lot of sense. Also, I love Johnny Cash. He will always hold a special place in my heart. When the line “My name is SUE! How do you DO! Now you’re gonna DIE!” comes on, I yell it out. Really loud. I have no shame in that admission.
Istanbul (Not Constantinople) – They Might be Giants
When I was seventeen, a friend mentioned They Might be Giants to me. I’d never heard of them. He was HORRIFIED and immediately went home and made me a tape of their album Flood. I have never so enjoyed an album someone introduced me to, I don’t think. I listened to that tape over and over. I lost it, eventually. In Europe, actually, when I was traveling. I was heartbroken. It had Flood on one side and I think maybe The Eagles on the other side? Maybe not. I’m foggy on what was on the other side. I listened to mostly Flood anyway. I have, of course, since bought the CD, and a number of other TMBG CDs. And – AND! – seen TMBG live! One of the best concert experiences of my life. It was like I could see little teenage Amy standing beside adult Amy as they were playing. (Side note – it was VERY HARD to choose a single TMBG song that makes me happy. I also love “Birdhouse in Your Soul” and “Your Racist Friend” and “New York City” and “Particle Man” and, hell, well, most everything they do. They are my “I need to be cheered up STAT” band. They never fail.)
Jesse’s Girl – Rick Springfield
Ooh, check out Rick’s hair in that video. That’s a lot of feathering, Rick. Also, WHOA CAPTAIN TIGHTPANTS. No, not Nathan Fillion. ACTUAL tight pants. WAY tight.
I know, this one seems like an odd choice. It’s kind of not even a happy song. It’s about a guy who is longing after his best friend’s girl. But this song makes me IRRATIONALLY HAPPY. And do you know why?
Because Rick Springfield sings the world’s best line ever used in a song in the history of the world.
“I want to tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot.”
The use of the word “moot” in a song makes me so happy every time this song comes on I can’t even contain myself. My old roommate and I used to get SO EXCITED when this came on. We’d be totally quiet and just seat-boppy until THAT LINE. Then, when THAT LINE came on, we’d sing it SO LOUD. “I WANT TO TELL HER THAT I LOVE HER BUT THE POINT IS PROBABLY ***MOOT***!!!!”
I mean, you’ve all heard of a moot point (or, as Joey from Friends would put it, a “moo” point, “yeah, it’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.”) But Rick Springfield turned it AROUND. “The point is probably moot.” In order to make it rhyme with cute. This makes me irrationally happy for really no good reason. I think I just like the word moot. I have a thing for words with double vowels in them.
There. Now you have five songs that, hopefully, will make you just so happy you can’t be in a stompy-stomp mood. So save this post, and the next time life shits all over you, pull it up and listen to some happy music. I mean, you might still be STABBY, but maybe you won’t ACT on it. And that’s what it’s all about, right? Right. Otherwise, my point is probably moot.