Category Archives: Books

Permalink to The Hunger Games: Suzanne Collins

The Hunger Games: Suzanne Collins

by Erin|on January 3, 2012 |in Books |tagged , |Leave a comment

So last year I read The Hunger Games. I had the second in the series at the time, I just never got around to reading it. Luckily a coworker had all three and lent me the second and third books over our three-day, New Year’s weekend. I also happen to get sick as fuck over the weekend so I had a lot of free time while I was sitting on my couch. So I finished the series.

Let me give you a quick, non-spoilery rundown. Basically the world sucks. In the center of the current set up is The Capitol. This is where all the super well off fancy people live. From there there are districts going up to District 12. Each district has their own industrial or agricultural type specialty. The Capitol controls everything. Now to the really good part. Every year The Capitol picks two kids from each district to go to the Hunger Games. They put these kids in a giant, constructed arena full of all kinds of horrible things and they have to survive. Only one is allowed to win so only one can survive. The really fucked up part is that the entire rest of this civilization is watching the whole thing on TV. Nuts, right?

Katniss Everdeen is our leading lady. She’s from District 12. Her little sister gets picked to go to the Hunger Games so Katniss volunteers herself instead.

I can’t tell you too much more without giving things away. So I’m just going to go over my thoughts on the series. First, let me just say that this premise is awesome. It’s terrible and beautiful all at the same time. It’s a unique and thought-provoking take on a dystopian world and the first book had me hooked the entire way through. The second and third books weren’t too bad either but neither of them had the fire of the first one.

These books are a fun and quick read but there were definitely weak points. I had some issues with Katniss as a character. Her development was sort of sporadic and disorganized. I found myself wondering why she was making certain decisions. Sometimes her decisions or reactions to things didn’t make a lot of sense. The same thing happened with other plot points in the story. Things would happen and it would almost seem random. I can see where the author would want to create an atmosphere of confusion at times but I thought it could have been executed better.

The other confusing aspect is the “love triangle” that exists through the entire series. It’s weak. I understand the role a love triangle plays in any story and I understand that the author wanted to convey that there were more important things in Katniss’ life than boys. I appreciate that, I really do. But if that’s the case, that plot element should be more solid and it wasn’t. The result was that I felt like both sides were sort of lacking. I couldn’t root for either guy and I couldn’t fully appreciate Katniss’ desire to be independent because neither choice had a solid foundation. The emotional connection for her relationship decisions just wasn’t there.

In the last book, I kept expecting to have that “final fight” tension happen. I kept wanting to feel total suspense and it just never happened. The events of the final book just sort of unfolded and then it ended. The ending was nice but I didn’t feel the same sense of resolution because the climax just didn’t build the way I was expecting.

Overall these are some entertaining books but look at them for what they are. They are YA fiction, which is totally fine. Lots of YA is stellar writing. Like I said, the premise is amazing and the books are good but overall I think they could have used a little more planning ahead and solid character development.

So there you go. Read and enjoy!

Permalink to Hardcore Zen: Brad Warner

Hardcore Zen: Brad Warner

by Erin|on December 1, 2011 |in Books |tagged , |Leave a comment

You need the courage to take responsibility for your own life and your own situation

I am kind of an angry person. No, I don’t hate everything. There are plenty of things that I genuinely like but I am reactive. I have never been one of those happy, sunny people that rides around on a unicorn whilst shitting rainbows. That’s just never been me. I’ve always been the judgey Daria type. On Grey’s Anatomy (shut up I like it) they call it “dark and twisty.” That’s pretty accurate for me.

For a while now I have realized that being this way is not always conducive to a positive life. I worry about everything all the time and it took me a long time to realize that some of that probably came from my relatively negative outlook on the world. I am not a religious person. I grew up with Christianity but that hasn’t been part of my life since high school. I’m an atheist so religion has never been a source of strength for me. In college, I started reading about Buddhism. Not in any sort of dedicated way, but it’s been part of my life since then, in some way or other. I don’t think I was ever ready to really put work into it until now. I have to do something or this house of cards that I have built is going to topple over. So I decided to read more about it.

I picked up Hardcore Zen because I thought I would identify with the outlook of the author. I was right. This is a guy who grew up in suburban Ohio, got into punk rock and moved to Japan to work for a film company that makes monster movies. He’s got attitude. MY attitude. Brad Warner somehow manages to tell the story of how he came to Zen Buddhism as well as teach, in a loose way, what it is all about. This is not the kind of light fluffy Buddhism book you find on the display shelf at Barnes and Noble. This is someone’s story. It’s full of doubts, concerns, confusion, normal human emotion but it’s also full of insight.

Warner covers the basics of Buddhism (the four noble truths and the eightfold path of how to get there), he talks about zazen meditation in a way that is truthful. Meaning he tells you that this shit is hard. It’s not easy to keep your mind quiet for forty five minutes at a time or even ten…five if you’re me. He hits on a lot of ideas that are pretty important to me.

Nothing in the universe is permanent – and the thing we call “self” is no different.

This is something that I try to keep in mind every day and it’s a core part of Buddhism. Nothing in this world ever stays the same.

We live in the idealized world inside our heads. And THAT keeps us from ever really enjoying what we have right now, from enjoying the work we’re doing to create our better tomorrow

This is a huge deal for me. I do this all the time. Normally I’m pretty realistic about the world, except when it comes to my job. I’m terrible about thinking “If I could only find the perfect job then I would be happy.” It keeps me from seeing that I have a great job now. No job will ever be perfect.

Like I said, I’ve been reading on and off about Buddhism since I was in college but this book made me want to DO something. I want to be a better person. I want to be calm and peaceful. Do I think this philosophy, this way of life, is going to turn me into one of those unicorn riding people? Of course not. That’s silly. But it could help me keep my brain quiet. It could help me react to people in more positive ways. It could keep my house of cards standing a little longer and I’m glad I was able to find a voice that sounds kind of like my own to introduce me to it. Warner has several other books I’m going to pick up. I’ll keep you updated on my progress. In the meantime, if you want learn a little more about Zen and you’re toting around a surly attitude and a penchant for anger, Hardcore Zen might help you find a little peace.

Permalink to How Sparkly Vampires Lost Me a Friend (With a Little Help From my Big Old Mouth)

How Sparkly Vampires Lost Me a Friend (With a Little Help From my Big Old Mouth)

by Amy|on November 20, 2011 |in Books, Humor, Media, Movies, Pop Culture, Rants |tagged , , , , , , , , |Leave a comment

This apple is suing for defamation of character.

Dear Jay*:

Listen, I am really sorry.

Two years ago, you sent me a birthday email. Which was really, really nice. I mean, who still does that in this day and age? You probably just wanted to post on my Facebook wall and have done with it, but I didn’t have Facebook yet then, because I was afraid of the internet. So you took the time out of your day to send me an email, and we hadn’t seen each other in seven years. THAT WAS SO NICE JAY.

It’s not YOUR fault that you, in the course of your email, lightly threw in a sentence that set me off into a burning rage.

“Is it wrong that I started reading Twilight? Or is more wrong that I actually like it?”

Then, THEN, Jay, you followed that with “Did you ever see Let the Right One In? It’s like the Swedish version of Twilight.”

I was thinking the other day, hmm, I haven’t heard from Jay recently, I wonder why? And then I realized I could trace the slow, gradual decent of our friendship to the email response I sent to your very, very nice birthday wishes two years ago. Oh, Jay. Listen, I am really SO SORRY.

I probably shouldn’t have responded to an email full of birthday wishes with a paragraph that was about three pages long, in Word. I know. I’m sorry. And it probably shouldn’t have contained some of the following phrases:

“Well, no, it’s not WRONG that you’re reading Twilight - wait, you’re not a 12-year-old girl! It IS wrong!”

“These books are very sexist. You do understand what the term sexist means, right? If you need a definition, keep reading Twilight.”

“Bella CONSTANTLY needing to be rescued by a man, be it her father, Edward, or Jacob – gets very tiresome. Like, it gives me NARCOLEPSY, it’s so tiresome. I’m asleep right NOW, thinking of it, as a matter of fact.”

“Also, these books are so poorly written that it’s like they gave a sixth-grader a gel pen and a bunch of loose-leaf paper and told her to get cracking. Try to diagram one of her sentences, Jay. TRY. You CAN’T. They run on for PAGES. She not only avoids the rules of grammar, she sees them coming and runs away, screaming, as if they are a STREET GANG.”

“The thing that bothers me the most about them is that little girls are reading them and think that Edward is the kind of guy they want someday, and Edward is as mentioned above, really pretty sexist. And Bella’s a twit. So do they think that they need to lose their brain somewhere and look for a sexist asshole? This worries me.”

“If I wanted someone to tell me sex outside of marriage was bad, I’d go back to church, STEPHENIE MEYER you JUDGMENTAL MORON.”

“And why the fuck does Edward sparkle in sunlight like a glitter-wearing club rat? Vampires don’t SPARKLE. They BITE YOU. And then you are DEAD. Or maybe UNDEAD. But there is no SPARKLING.”

“Please for the love of all that’s holy tell me you didn’t compare Let the Right One In to Twilight. Please tell me I’m dreaming. Am I dreaming, Jay? I am. I am, right? It’s the narcolepsy? THEY ARE NOT THE SAME AT ALL. Except for vampires. That’s like comparing an El Camino and a ’57 Chevy. They both get you where you need to go, only one does it in style, and the other HAS A FUCKING SPARKLY VAMPIRE WHO MOPES AND ACTS LIKE AN OVERPROTECTIVE DOUCHECANOE.”

Oh, Jay. Listen, in re-reading this email (wow, Gmail, thanks for saving things going that far back, so a person can see how badly they behaved) I really kind of overreacted considering you were just sending me a birthday greeting. And we really haven’t been in touch much since.

I’m totally sorry I’m an asshole.

Except I’m right, obviously. On every single count.

Love, Amy.

*not your real name. Which, obviously, YOU are aware of. But it seemed totally asshatty to use your real name without permission? And I didn’t want to ask permission. Because what if you said no? You would have. I mean, this post is not very nice. So I gave you an alias. YOU’RE WELCOME JAY.

Permalink to Dracula vs. Edward

Dracula vs. Edward

by Jennifer|on November 19, 2011 |in Books, Movies |tagged , , |Leave a comment

About 20 years ago, (yes, go ahead, do the math) I wrote a high school term paper on Dracula, outlining the inherent symbolism of the tale. Turns out most of it was about OMGSEX. As I was re-reading it for this post, (yes, I still have the rough draft and all my notes) I realized that the seeds of Dracula and Twilight have a lot more to do with each other than it might first seem possible. It’s actually kind of interesting, if you’ll bear with me.

This post is his fault

In one corner we have Bram Stoker. A strict Protestant, he was wandering around during the Victorian era, well known for its repressive atmosphere. His wife was ‘frigid’, as they said back then, refusing his bed after their first, and only, child was born. A theater manager, hobnobbing with Oscar Wilde, Stoker turned to more adventurous women when his own bed grew cold. At the time Dracula was published, he contracted syphilis.

In the other corner, we have Stephenie Meyer. While she resides in a time when much of society is considerably more free in their ideas of sex than the Victorians, Ms. Meyer is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The Mormons, too, have a strict moral code that many see as repressive, especially in regards to women and sexual practices outside of marriage.

It's kinda her fault, too

With such similar moralistic backgrounds, it actually comes as little surprise that these two authors were both drawn to write about vampires. For Stoker, there was almost no precedent for his work. Instead, he was drawn to various scattered myths, gathering them to create the modern view of vampires. Meyer, too, combined several alternate versions of vampires into her own creations, but the fact that they both chose these blood-sucking creatures of the night is quite telling.

And now I’ll get to the more juicy stuff, as it were. I know this is what you’ve been waiting for.

According to critics, “[Dracula's] appeal derives from its images of murder, exploitation, necrophilia, sadism, chauvinism, and oral sex.” Examples of this can be seen throughout the book.

Necrophilia is on display quite plainly in the beguiling nature of both Dracula and his lamia wives, all quite dead, despite their animated facade. Chauvinism is expected in a book of this time, of course, but the men in the book are particularly dismissive of a woman’s place in doing anything except being pure, chaste wives. And the oral sex? Last time I checked, there was a whole lot of sucking going on, with blood standing in for ‘other’ fluids and the dental penetration standing in for, well, you know.

Ooooh. Glittering eyes

As for the characters themselves, the mortal men are, for the most part, faceless stand-ins for Stoker himself, all sharing the same views on women, and proceeding with their vampire hunt with little argument amongst themselves as to procedure, etc., so I’m going to focus here on Dracula and the mortal women in the tale.

Dracula is our classic Victorian rake. Rich, entrancing, and possessed of a “glittering eye”, women “fall” by being associated with him, succumbing to his spell. When his condition is passed on to them, these women become outcast from society, in this case “outcast” means becoming one of the undead. For example, the beautiful, pure, and sweet Lucy Westenra becomes a seductive predator of little children after she dies and rises as a vampire. She requires her noble suitors to kill her and free her soul.

He only had eyes for Mina

Our rake has his eyes truly set on Mina Harker, though, who seems completely incapable of caring for herself, requiring a bevvy of men to look after her as well. She even asks them to kill her rather than let her become a vampire. Unlike so many strong women in literature who gather the courage to take their own lives when faced with a fate worse than death, Mina depends on the men’s strength.

If we take these ideas, these characters, and bring them to the modern era, we most definitely arrive at Twilight. Let me explain.

For Edward, Bella is his Mina, the irresistible girl who is so unable to take care of herself that she needs men to support her. In other words, easy prey. Her frailty manifested in an inability to walk a flight of stairs without tripping over her own two feet, Bella is held up as chaste and beautiful, with her own band of suitors, here in the form of werewolves, ready to protect her from the evil vampires.

Yet Bella is drawn to Edward, nonetheless. Where she is weak, she clings to his strength, pulled in by what the glittering skin, rather than eye, of this particular brand of vampirism. A rake is still a rake, no matter how he glitters, and some girls can’t resist the bad boys. In Bella’s case, her weakness are thrown into even greater relief and she appears even weaker in the face of Edward’s strength and desire. She is completely and utterly at his mercy, so much so that when he leaves her for a time, she becomes a shell of a thing, mirroring Lucy’s draining strength as Dracula feeds on her.

Ooooh the danger

As for Edward himself, we find a slightly more compelling character. While we are surely dealing with the “older man, younger woman” scenario, his blood-lust remains at war with the moral code of the time he was born in and is fairly blatant symbolism for the war within himself between that same code and the sexual lust felt by the young man he was before being “turned”. He does not want Bella to become a vampire, thereby destroying the purity she has in various flavors. It is this inner conflict that separates him from his Gothic counterpart, as well as from his contemporaries at Forks High School.

Because I know I’ve gotten a bit long-winded here, I will sum all of this up with a few simple observations. For me, vampires symbolize sex in all its various incarnations, and in reading any story centered on the undead, I simply cannot help but wonder about the author’s own feelings on the subject and how it influenced their writing. Following that train of thought and knowing something of Stephenie Meyer’s religious beliefs, I cannot help but conclude that, much like Stoker, the restrictive nature of her own moral compass compressed her unexpressed feelings to the point where they were forced to find outlet in the dream of Edward that was the genesis for her series of novels.

And on a final note, having made the connection between oral sex and the bite of a vampire, between necrophilia and the undead nature of the vampire itself, I can’t help but wonder what is up with The Cullens and their justifications in sucking the blood of animals instead of humans. I’m just sayin’.

Permalink to Ten Totally Random Movie/Book Men To Obsess Over Before Edward Cullen.

Ten Totally Random Movie/Book Men To Obsess Over
Before Edward Cullen.

by Cara|on November 18, 2011 |in Books, Movies, Pop Culture |tagged , , , , , , , , , |Leave a comment

In light of the Breaking Dawn craze… and witnessing so much cray cray in grown ass women dress in a fucking wedding dress for the opening of this movie… I decided to compile a list of men… flawed in literature and cinema and their stories are more believable than a hundred year old vampire falling for a stupid teenager. I suggest obsessing over these men before you make a goddamn fool of yourself wishing for the love of the broody Edward Cullen… come on ladies, I know you love him and his “ultra mysterious vampire vibe” but it seems a lot of you have forgotten some of the ultimate bad asses who leave this guy in the dust… so here’s your reminder.

 

10. Peeta Mellark (the Hunger Games): this kid is dumb as lobster bait yet I’d still gladly stand outside his family’s shitty bakery, covered in soot, giggling and waving like an idiot. While you should forget the second and third book ever existed- the Hunger Games is pretty darn amazing… Peeta’s story is a precious albeit sappy and unoriginal one but I still can’t help but swoon over his relationshit. I want to tear my hair out every time Katniss and Peeta interact then push each other away- because it’s like every other high school dramedy you’ve come across- if your high school was a battle field of aggravated assault… oh and you may or may not have to try and murder each other- whatevs… still much more healthy than the emotional abuse our dear Edward bestows upon the willing damp mop that is Bella Swan.

 

 

9. Sherlock Holmes: given the plethora of dreamy eyed man-candy that has played this epic eccentric character- you’d think it would be a sure bet that Sherlock Holmes could slap the shit out of Edward Cullen, laugh sarcastically then prove that vampires don’t really exist… Do you like role play? Holmes is the master of disguise. How about intelligence? Holmes uses logical reasoning to solve crime! Do you dig sidekicks? He’s got a great one. Do you like ultra hot Robert Downey Jr? He PLAYS him in one of the movies. He also has the skills… martial arts, swords, canes, his goddamn fists, and he’s been known to use a riding crop to disarm people. Remember how I said this guy is ripe with intelligence? Yeah I meant it- he’s pretty decent with sensational literature, philosophy, astronomy, politics (okay that one might be a lie), chemistry, and he plays the violin. Guinness World Records has consistently listed Sherlock Holmes as the “most portrayed movie character” with 75 actors playing the part in over 211 films…

 

8. Wesley (The Princess Bride): What’s not to fucking LOVE about the greatest love story every told? You want someone pining for you? How about blond haired, dreamy-eyed Wesley? Who is both a sensitive farm boy and bad ass pirate. Best thing about him? He’ll always come back from the dead and save you before you have to marry that slime ball prince… drop your sword, mother f*cker. If you haven’t spent over a quarter of your life obsessing over this movie, quoting every line and wishing you had a grandpa half as cool as Columbo then you’re really missing something. Wesley is just the very top of an array of awesome men to swoon over in this story- even the Sicilian is less of a mental terrorist than Edward… and everyone knows you never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

 

 

7. Patrick Batman Bateman (American Psycho): because let’s face it- even on his worst of days- dear old Pat is hella less creepy than Edward. Sure he may kill you- that’s only half the fun… but at least when HE sneaks into your room at night to watch you sleep there’s a definite (and final) reason behind it… not a wishy-washy pervy ulterior motive. Patrick Bateman loves you in pieces (© Erin). Since you’re already pining after a killer- I figured I’d point you in the direction of a much cooler one. Pat won’t take any of your whiny bullshit either… but instead of leaving you alone in the woods among wolves- he has the common decency to end your misery in a nice apartment- in comfort. He also would never impregnate you with a demon baby… I don’t think.

 

 

6. Kyle Reese (Terminator): can you name anything more romantic than falling in love with a girl in a photograph and traveling back in time to protect the girl in said photograph from an evil murderous robot? I DON’T THINK SO! Can you think of a better story than said couple bringing a son into the world who will lead the resistance against a globally devastating mech war? I didn’t think so either… Kyle Reese leaves good old Edward in the dust for many reasons- the biggest one being he can make a fucking pipe bomb out of household supplies and work his way into the damsel in distress’ panties in under forty minutes screen time… oh and he also coined “come with me if you want to live” one of the most romantic pick up lines ever. Sure… it doesn’t end well… not all stories are perfect- but what matters is that this guy had enough heart, drive and love to do something I’ve never seen anyone in history do… mainly because we don’t have time travel but since when should that stop someone?

 

5. John Bender (the Breakfast Club): nothing quite like having a bully at the dinner table. I loved John Bender so much that I purposefully stalked a dude in high school who kind of looked like him. Wait- am I REALLY telling you to obsess over a bully rather than a “vampire?” Yes. Because everyone knows a Bender- and they love him. We don’t see him in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions… he has just as much mystery as the Cullen kids only he’s not trying to hide his- he’s trying to set fire to the school. He’s your typical bully… hiding all feelings of an abusive home life. He’s negative and demeaning yet says some of the more intellectual shit during the course of a Saturday detention session. Oh AND he gets the princess.

 

 

4. Rick Grimes (The Walking Dead): I won’t get all that spoilery on you but Rick Grimes is a survivor… he’ll go through hell for you and he’s an extremely good father. He even takes pity on people who… may or may not have… boned his wife behind his back. Getting down to the grit of human survival… Rick really shines as a would-be hero of the zombie apocalypse- yet he’s not without some major flawed bullshit moral mind fucks… he’s a problem solver, he’s not afraid to cry and he can kill fifty zombies in under five minutes… one handed.

 

 

3. Bud Brigman (the Abyss): there’s something about a movie couple who mirrors your fighting parents that just gets you as a kid… such a run of the mill couple with marital problems… thousands of feet under the sea dealing with nuclear war and aliens. James Cameron is a goddamn love song poet. Bud is the very coolest of men- and long before Harry Stamper and AJ took over the doomsday oil rigger roles- this guy was shouting his epic lines of anger towards his estrange wife Lindsey, trying to bring her back to life. He will also brave miles of abyssal trenches under thousands of feet of water to help save mankind- which I view as a plus.

 

2. Louis + Lestat (Interview with the Vampire): remember when vampires were cool? Lestat de Lioncourt does… which is why he sired Louis de Pointe du Lac. Not only are these guys the real deal- they also make the feminine vampire vibe look hella badass- and THAT my friends is original… or at least as original as we can get for an ancient global myth. Louis is a much better brooder in my book and Lestat is a rock star… an actual rock star. This vampire had the balls to call out his kind by becoming a goddamn musician. Louis and Lestat don’t sparkle unless they eat a stripper… and they sure as shit don’t play baseball.

 

 

1. Rhett Butler (Gone with the Wind): time for your history lesson… Rhett Butler is one of the original idiots to fall for a stupid, annoying, selfish bitch- proving that vagina is the ultimate cosmic power int he universe- and can be JUST as emotionally abusive as any man. He’s also probably the original honey badger- because he didn’t give a damn. You love to hate his relationshit… it’s beyond frustrating… and in the end- you KNOW this bitch will get him back… I mean… god was her witness… and by the way- Rhett and Scarlett were the biggest fuck weasels in recent cinematic history- and their story is loads more compelling and emotionally driven than Twilight.

 

 

In closing I would like to add that all of these characters are fictional. This seems to be the biggest thing everyone is forgetting. FICTIONAL. They don’t exist in our reality. You can’t marry them. Sure we’ve all had those fantasies about [insert childhood movie star crush here] sweeping us off our feet… but that’s just the thing… they were usually decent role models… I mean- I really didn’t know Corey Feldman and Haim were druggies until I was older and then I dropped liking them because I knew they weren’t people to look up to… and yeah it was pretty devastating to know how badly River Phoenix fucked up… but these people are real. In a social standard that pretty much shoves the Hollywood factor down our throats- I think there are just better stories out there to go nuts over… (but not too nuts).

I am supportive of any of my friends and family who dig this movie- we as humans have obsessive natures. I am not saying that in some way- to some people the Twilight characters don’t have redeeming qualities… I’m sure there are some. I am not without liking some of the characters- who don’t talk a lot. In fact- if this story were about that Alice and Jasper I would be standing in line right now… but I stand firm in believing these are characters meant to entertain our minds and not be a standard for us to expect others to live up to. Husbands and boyfriends are finding themselves competing with a fictional teenage vampire who can do no wrong. Seems pretty ridiculous- seeing as how said vampire is a total controlling dick.

 

 

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